To be continually improving in your ability as a leader you have to be continually improving in your functionality as a person. What does this mean? What is ‘functional human behaviour’? This sounds like it could be subjective and open to a vast range of interpretation. After all, we do have unique and varied tapestries of moral and values based beliefs.

So with this in mind, and in attempt to write something that may inspire, I will work from the premise that ‘functional behaviour’ is the thinking and action-taking that not only gets you the results you want, but that is good for you, good for others, healthy and sustainable.

Why should behaviour necessarily positively impact others for it to be deemed functional? This is subjective and may not be an ‘ultimate truth’ (which of our beliefs actually are?), but from my experience of thousands of hours coaching humans, I have enough evidence for me to believe that people do have a deep drive to make what they believe is a positive impact. This may be locally, i.e. in the lives of their immediate family/community, or it may be on a larger scale. Regardless, the drive to be significant is the same. I also believe that the core need to positively impact life outside of ‘oneself’ stems from the basic human drive to propagate our species through tribe/community.

Are you in a leadership role? If so, do you have the desire to improve, to grow your abilities, to get better at what you do, to become more functional? If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, what do you do about it? How do you invest time/energy/money in your personal growth? You can’t be a better leader without becoming a better person. This path is a practise. You never ‘arrive’ and then stop the practise. It’s like saying once you get good at Yoga, Pilates or Meditation then you can stop. We know that’s not the case. To continue getting the benefits of such practises we must continue the practise.

There are many different ways to keep improving our functionality. One of the key areas is to keep improving our awareness of Self (and human behaviour in general). The more aware/awake we are, the better our ability to pause in any given situation, engage the frontal cortex of our brain, and increase the choices available to us in how we respond to our environment.

Interestingly, the more aware of Self we become, the more Self-less’ we become. This makes it easier it is to adopt alternative ideas to ours. The more ‘Self-less’, the easier it is to collaborate. The easier it is to really understand others and their perspective. The easier it is to build deep rapport with a wider range of people. The more effective we become as leaders. The more concerned with ‘the greater good’ we become. All of these attributes lend themselves very well to leadership.

So what do I suggest to help you on this path? Here are some of my hot tips…

Develop an appetite for knowledge and experience in this area. Read (or listen to) as many good books on related subjects as possible. Engage in a development program with a good coach (there’s plenty of average and not-so-good coaches out there). Attend talks, seminars and workshops. MEDITATE!! Commit to a daily personal practise of mental and physical movement. Spend time immersed in nature with no tech devices. Get really curious in other people. Ask a lot of questions and seek to understand.

And as you navigate your way along your path, find a way to repeatedly wire your thinking into a positive framework, especially in reference to your ‘Self Image’. The better you treat yourself, the better life seemingly ‘treats’ you.

Are you someone who holds back from surrendering into the rapture of Joy, for fear of the pain of Loss if that thing were taken away? Maybe you hold back from giving all of yourself to a relationship with another person in the moment, because you know they can be taken away from you at any time and that hurts. Do you prevent yourself from experiencing complete Gratitude and Love for things you have, because you know all things are temporal and subject to change, and that these things can also be taken away? Do you deny yourself (and those around you) of your Excitement for Potential, because you will hurt from Disappointment if it doesn’t eventuate?

If this sounds like you, you are not alone. Never able to give completely all of you to ‘what is’, never able to surrender completely to the Joy of the Present, for fear of it not being there at some point in the future, and the pain of Loss. Not able to experience Excitement in the great potential of creating, for fear of it not eventuating. Living less in each present moment as a protection against the inevitable loss in the Future.

This need not be. Practise (and it does take practise) the mindset art of non-attachment for things that no longer exist. Practise focussing your energy on reality and potential, and steering it away from ‘would have’, ‘should have’, ‘could have’, ‘used to have’ etc.

As you begin to trust your ability to let go of attachment to something that doesn’t exist anymore, it allows you to give more of yourself to that thing while it does exist, either literally or in potential. As you can lead with Love more in each moment, and surrender to what ‘is’ in that present moment, not only does your experience of life (which really only exists in each present moment) become more enriched, but your ability to contribute beyond yourself greatly increases as well.

When you see me get excited and joyful about something or it’s potential, fear not for my wellbeing if that thing ceases to be or doesn’t eventuate, for I am continually getting better at not attaching to things that don’t exist anymore.

We search for meaning. We make meaning. We crave meaning when there seems to be none. And from the grand perspective of the Universe, perhaps there is none. But we are, after all, human and in our very human expression of Consciousness and seeking to understand Life, we have become ‘Meaning Making Machines’. It seems that having meaning provides motivation. Motivation fuelling our creative and contribution pointed endeavours.

Then there is our fear of isolation. A fear protecting our survival, for we truly do need each other. We have evolved through our ability to complement each other’s abilities and create societies through allowing individuals to specialise. Its no wonder one of our core needs is Connection.

Yet, despite this, and seemingly contrary to this, the function of our Ego to create a sense of identity separate from our environment has inadvertently created a condition I call The Human Disconnect. We have become largely disconnected from each other, from the Greater System, from a sense of Purpose (or meaning), and essentially disconnected from our true essence of Self.

We talk about what we are ‘doing to the planet’ as if we are separate from it. We deal in ‘owning land’ rather than understanding that we are ‘of the land’. We kill each other and other life forms senselessly with seemingly no regard for the fact that we are all literally of the same ecosystem, that we are quite literally all the same thing. In fact most of our species’ dysfunctional behaviour can be attributed to this condition: The Human Disconnect.

I smiled at a person sat next to me on the train in London, one morning in May, and subsequently struck up a friendly conversation. We ended up talking about people’s fear of making eye contact with anyone else whilst riding the Tube. My companion in conversation expressed his fear that if he made eye contact and smiled at people, they would think he was mentally unstable, and this behaviour may even end up with him being locked up!

I shared a theory that it was only because everyone bought in to that same fear, that everyone was hiding in their smart device, newspaper or book. It just so happened that we were both getting off at Piccadilly, and so I invited him to take a small journey in my reality. “Walk just a step behind me”, I said, “and notice the faces of the people who’s attention I get”.

As we walked through the busy underground train station and made our way up to the open air of London, I took my attention to the people around me and while practising Compassion, Kindness and Friendliness, smiled when someone’s eyes caught mine, and received the many smiles that returned.

When we stopped walking on a street corner and I turned to check in with my new friend, his face sparkled with astonishment. “I’ve never seen so many smiling people on the London Underground”, he said. “What on Earth did you do to them?”

“I simply allowed us to connect openly, momentarily and unassumingly” I replied. “In my version of reality, most people’s reflex to a smile is to smile!”

Over the years of my experience, the travels and trials, the tribulations and temptations, the joys and the pains, it has become increasingly evident that ‘projection is perception’, that my internal representation largely determines my external reality, and that in this, there lies a key to ultimate empowerment. Life is as I choose it to be. The quality of my life truly is in my hands, and my ability to manifest heaven on earth is within me right here, right now.

As I look around to read and hear more of the contemporary success stories of modern day leaders in all walks of life, from sport to business, local through to global, I am heartened by an emerging and recurring theme. Whether we call it Mindful Leadership, Authentic Leadership, Human-centric Leadership, or apply tags such as Emotional Intelligence, Feminine Energy and Spiritual Awareness, the point is that we are starting to remember that we get the best results when we nurture and develop abilities through the practise of Compassion, Gratitude, Kindness, Mindfulness and Connection.

I believe a real key to successful leadership lies in the heart of our ability to connect; connect to one’s true sense of Self, to a healthy purpose or ‘Mission’, to being a part of the Greater System, and importantly to others. This practise of connection ensures we are aligned and engaged with the flow.

When leaders dedicate time to the cultivation of an inner sense of peace, whilst maintaining a passion and drive to contribute to evolution and play their part in positive growth, the outcome is healthy and functional. With an understanding that being an intrinsic part of (and therefore the whole of) the Greater System is the basis of our true creative power, and with the deeply routed desire to connect with and positively impact others, leaders can start to create movements that make a difference (and drive better bottom line results!)

How do we deepen our sense of connection to Self, Mission, System and Others? The practise of the following is a fantastic way to start, and can predominantly be integrated into existing daily activities.

Practising Compassion can be as simple as imagining what it might be like to be in the other person’s position, to allow yourself to feel your version of what they are feeling or thinking.

The practise of Gratitude is as easy as listing things you are grateful for (can be done whilst on your way somewhere).

Mindfulness is essentially just taking your awareness to the current moment and becoming present to what is going on: what are you feeling, thinking, hearing, doing etc.

The acts of Kindness and Contribution are very enjoyable and surprisingly easy to achieve once you direct your attention to looking for opportunities to do so.

Extensive bodies of evidence-based research are now available and demonstrate how these practises greatly improve an individual’s ability to perform in any pursuit. Combine this with the determination to create positive change in an environment, and we have our emerging truly successful leaders.

Check out this document recently released by the Mindfulness All-Party Parliamentary Group in Britain for compelling evidence of the benefits of Mindfulness. http://www.themindfulnessinitiative.org.uk/images/reports/Mindfulness-APPG-Report_Mindful-Nation-UK_Oct2015.pdf

If you are reading this, there is a good chance you already have a certain level of self-awareness and the desire to continually get better at being you. That’s great. So now, how do you lead in this space? How do you step even more into driving this movement of Mindfulness?

We can start by having the courage to venture out of our comfort zone and simply acknowledge that we are all part of the same greater system. Smile at a stranger, pay forward an act of kindness, peacefully pull someone up when they throw their cigarette butt on the ground, teach your family to practice Gratitude and Compassion, lift your head up and open your eyes as you walk through life.

Have you ever passed by someone in need on the street, had that thought in your mind that maybe you should check if they are ok, or at least even offer them a smile and a kind word? And for some reason, you didn’t act on that inclination. For some reason, you kept on walking and pretended you didn’t see them. Next time this happens, turn around, go back and reach out. It only needs to cost you a few minutes of your life.

When you lead by example in all aspects of your life, you create a ripple effect and positively impact many more people than you realise. This integrity greatly flavours who you are and how you are perceived by those who follow you, either at work or outside.

There are many attributes and character traits that lend themselves well to leadership. There are different leadership styles that are effective. There are only a few abilities that set great leaders apart from the pack, and stand them out as truly inspirational and creative.

One of these is the ability to ‘lead with a servant’s heart’. This means the ability to innovate, process, respond, act and behave with the organisations people, mission, vision and values at the forefront. This is easier said than done.

Leaders are after all human, and the vast majority of us behave more from a place of Ego than we are even aware. This in itself is fine; it is what it is. But in the context of highly effective leadership, reacting to our environment from a place of defending or maintaining one’s sense of identity is not only ineffective, it can be dysfunctional and counter-productive.

As the function of the Ego is to create and bolster a sense of identity separate from our environment, and staunchly defend this fabricated persona, having an awareness of this, creates the option to choose to respond differently to our environment.

In short, as a leader increases their level of self-awareness, they improve their ability to self manage. This allows them to make it about the people around them, rather than make it about themselves.